Posted by Jann @ Austin Details Art + Photo
Welcome to 2012. The day that experts’ columns appear with abandon, advising us on New Year preparations and goals. Generally the best recourse is to read these columns, save them in a location where you’ll never find them, and then procrastinate until it’s too late to act on the advice. For the procrastinators among us, here are some timely tech things to do to start 2012 off with a clean slate (or a clean iPad). Most are guaranteed hangover cures—since you’d probably rather have a hangover than do any of these tasks:
1. Take the trouble to actually “unsubscribe” to every junk email you’ve marked as spam and allowed to accumulate by the thousands in your Mail junk folder.
2. Update every person in your Address Book with current phone numbers, emails and addresses, and delete the duplicates.
3. Go to every website where you’ve entered a password that you’ve forgotten, and change them all to passwords you can actually remember.
4. Delete all of the duplicate songs in your iTunes library, delete all of the stupid playlists you made when you were younger, and create new playlists for your current favorite songs.
5. Load every CD you’ve never copied into your iTunes library into your computer to copy over the songs. Then put the CDs on some dusty shelf somewhere.
6. Visit the websites of all of your credit cards, loans and cell phone carriers to examine their privacy policies and opt out, since you’ve already been automatically opted in.
7. Organize all of the apps on your iPhone into meaningful folders and delete all the free apps you downloaded while drinking with friends.
8. Ditto all of the apps on your iPad.
9. Investigate the latest software for erasing your online identity in the (unfortunate) event of your untimely death. Then pick your software poison for making all of your stupid Facebook entries (yes, they were stupid) and your self-aggrandizing tweets (yes, be honest, you were trying to make yourself look good to total strangers) leave the universe with you.
10. Or just clip this list to a safe but obscure location where you’ll never find it again, and pour yourself another Bloody Mary.
Posted by Jann @ Austin Details Art + Photo
Twitter, I am madly, deeply, head over heels with you.
Please let’s just keep this our little secret.
Why? Well, first off, Facebook won’t be pleased. In the short time we’ve been an item, Facebook has come to believe it rules my personal and work life with total dominance, and wants me to pay attention to every little inane detail of the meaningless existence led by everyone Facebook ever suggested should be my friend.
And Facebook is so demanding, always suggesting this game or that app or some invitation or something I’m required to like or comment on. I really hated the way Facebook pestered me relentlessly to unlock something or answer a fake-psych question or worse, to go live on a farm–and I mean, get real, I am clearly more a city girl.
Sorry for the rant. I just know Facebook won’t let go of me easily, that’s all.
Second reason, twitter, that we should keep this on the QT, is that most everyone I know doesn’t really understand you. Isn’t that classic? You have so much more to offer than my friends can even comprehend, but they think you’re just a flash in the pan of my life. You’re not all bells and whistles like my ex, Facebook, is–so they underestimate you.
At their peril!
And then there’s the problem with commitment, twitter. If I go public with my insane infatuation with you, well, I could be setting myself up for a fall. I’m still a little raw over the Facebook breakup, if you must know. It was just so public. And just so wrong, the way Facebook revealed all of our sweet little nothings without really asking permission. As if we’d never really meant something to each other.
Anyway, twitter, for now you are just right for me, you know, since it’s never smart to get too heavily invested in rebound relationships. You flatter me easily and often with my many followers–I get a little high every time you alert me to a new admirer. Flattery, twitter, will get you everywhere! Plus–and this is huge–you just get me, and accept me for who I say I am, without that inquisition I always got from Facebook: What are your interests? Where did you go to school? Are you in a relationship? Can I raid your friends’ contact info to cozy up to them, too?
And you’re witty, twitter, very clever much of the time, well-versed on so many subjects, so easy to be around, easy to follow too, always there for me, but you don’t get all deep on me or demand too much of me.
In fact, you really don’t demand anything but 140 little characters, at most, in my time, on my terms, not anyone else’s. And that is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Until we meet up again later tonight–